A home I can't go home to; a bed I can't sleep on...

I feel super down today... I don't really want to reflect on the bad stuff but it's rather upsetting that I nearly teared. I just feel like being in school and not go back... there's nothing I can do at home anyway, I'm just a puppet that responses to people who needs help, a slave. I hate where I am now, I don't even see my home as a home anymore, it feels so sad. I just want to cry or something. I hate to be the 2nd child, there's nothing good about being one. All the best genes go to the 1st, all the hard work go to the 2nd child. No matter how hard we try, we always go back to square one. I just feel ashamed of some things in life... So saddening...

The Mixed Boy