Things did not go the way I hoped for...

I thought I would be able to concentrate more this sem, but I noticed I can't. Then there's this issue of how to like someone and not like her at the same time... My grandfather just passed away in the middle of my exams and I find it hard to pay my respects especially all the way to Johor. I offered to go but never seem to find the convenience of my dumb parents to fetch me there when I they themselves allocated a time for me. I've changed my reservist dates about 4 times already. Finding it embarrassing enough, my dumb mother had to force me to change one more time just to fit to her dumb plans... I don't even have a good holiday already how can things get any worse?

Every time my parents tell me to do something, the more I'm not bonded to them. I know it's morally bad but I think it's an accumulated feeling that they fail to understand from the past. I have to blame myself for being selfish but they should blame themselves for not being understanding. Material life is usually seem more important to them, never my social life...

Disheartened
The Mixed Boy