Karma on Christmas day
Somehow I noticed that karma caught up to me. Those were the days when we teased Anand, now it comes back to me. As one would say, "what goes around comes around", I also have no idea why did Ann wanted me to wear the Santa clothes. I felt dumb but didn't want to crash her feelings towards the gathering. Then there was the time when they made me stand on the bench to count from 30, which they actually tricked me into doing that stupid pose. Then there was the mass spraying of foam onto me, I felt the biggest loser at that time already. Somehow I really shouldn't have gone for the gathering in the first place. I should have followed my instincts. I don't really think they ever thought of me as a good sport, rather, they were out to have their own fun, neglecting the other people's fun.
I also don't understand why people got off well in their life, with good jobs and good pay, lovely girlfriend who keeps them company, and probably have little worries about their results; while I have no intention to work yet, don't really have a potentially good pay coming, no girlfriend (because no one wants to consider me), and I worry like hell about my grades. Shuresh did mention that I should no matter what should enjoy my life. But that's the difference between him and me. Most of them are in Engine, while I'm in some field that have no one to talk to. I'm literally a loner there. I hear them talk about connections within themselves, music industries, cooperate companies, etc. But it just doesn't have my name in it. Nothing they say has any inclination to what I can potentially get strings at...
Now I'm lost, confused and depressed. I completely don't know where my drive and passion went to. I'm just upset and want to talk to someone (who willingly listens) or have a sign from God. At least tell me that things will get better; at least give me hope that there's something to fight for even when I'm getting freaking shit from everyone around me. Because no matter what, no one appreciates the things I do in life.
The Mixed Boy
I also don't understand why people got off well in their life, with good jobs and good pay, lovely girlfriend who keeps them company, and probably have little worries about their results; while I have no intention to work yet, don't really have a potentially good pay coming, no girlfriend (because no one wants to consider me), and I worry like hell about my grades. Shuresh did mention that I should no matter what should enjoy my life. But that's the difference between him and me. Most of them are in Engine, while I'm in some field that have no one to talk to. I'm literally a loner there. I hear them talk about connections within themselves, music industries, cooperate companies, etc. But it just doesn't have my name in it. Nothing they say has any inclination to what I can potentially get strings at...
Now I'm lost, confused and depressed. I completely don't know where my drive and passion went to. I'm just upset and want to talk to someone (who willingly listens) or have a sign from God. At least tell me that things will get better; at least give me hope that there's something to fight for even when I'm getting freaking shit from everyone around me. Because no matter what, no one appreciates the things I do in life.
The Mixed Boy
posted by -=The Mixed Boy=- at 12/25/2007 11:06:00 AM
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