Another one bites the dust.... Again...

I thought something might work out... But even before it started, it's already 'game over'... Haha.. Don't you think it's kinda pathetic? Don't you think I'm pathetic? Even before the game started, I'm already out of the game. Somehow, it's good that I knew it from the start... At least I know what to do next...

Haven't you have a time when the same old encouragements just don't that good anymore? Don't you think it's just nonsense already? Haven't we grown up enough to hear less of it? When you need encouragement, there're not there, when you don't need them, they are there. Its some sort of mockery...

When I started to say I hate my life, I always thought it would be a passing remark. But I'm starting to feel the pinch and somehow, the reality to it is coming true. It doesn't pay to be forgiving; it doesn't pay to be helpful; it doesn't pay to be sensitive; it doesn't pay to be hardworking... People don't see me as professional anymore. They don't see how my opnions are good anymore... They just think I'm trash...

Haha... Sometimes I think I'm an idiot... Most of the time I am... Just that I always tell myself I can do better in life... I'm always up there, high above people... But now I know, it's not the pain that makes me cry, it's the people i want to like around me that makes me cry. I don't know what to do anymore... I don't know whether must I shut myself up from the world to survive from the pain... All I need is someone I can hold and share my problems with.....................

Crying and Remorse
The Mixed Boy