The truth behind darken skys...

There's a time for praises, there's also a time for critisms... But when people scrutinize on the fact that I'm sensitive, pains me to feel that I look no more than a wimp/a cry baby. People don't see the need for a sensitive guy in this era at all... Then who started on the trend that guys should be sensitive? When people like me tries to be caring and sensitive to issues, they think we're sissies... The norm of seeing me for who I am and not what I am have bypass the gates of sensitivity to the realms of harsh environment.

I don't like to be harsh... I don't like to raise my voice; I don't like to scold people... It's never my nature... Even when I'm angry, I seldom scold people out of fear that friendships/colleague relationships would be tarnished.

I noticed a few things about people around me... I used to hear stories that if the top of your head has one "hole", you are probably a good boy/girl, discipline and all; If you have two "holes" then you are mischef and like to play around. When I was in lecture one day, I suddenly looked around and peered on everyone's head. Within my range, 100% were one "holed". Mine is a two... I feel so demoralised that I'm the "mischef" one...

I also noticed that I like to inspire people but I lack alot of chrisma... I can hardly catch anyone's attention or inspire anyone to do what I do... Even a simple task of influencing my friends to do what I think is right is corrected with a sweeping statement... It makes me look as if I'm unprofessional and childish... This is not the first time I'm repeating this but when I'm playful, people are serious; when I'm dead serious, they think I'm joking... What a way to lead my life...

No chrisma, no image, no money, no height, no brains, etc... I don't know what am I left with... Even the liking for someone is simply crushed by her assumption of me... I want to try ok!!! At least accept me for me... not what I am...

Upset and Tired

The Mixed Boy