The question of who is right and who is wrong... No one knows...
I can't believe that I lost my cool just now. I was helping out with my mom in changing the bed sheet but I lost my cool at a small incident. Then I raised my voice at my mom and we had an arguement. I felt that it was a dumb arguement and I was dumb enough to start it. Did my apologies and hope that it wouldn't happen again. These few days aren't very good for me but I'll guess I'll still be happy since it's not going to kill me. =)
While I was thinking things through after the arguement, I was looking out of my balcony and staring at the trees in front of me. I kept asking myself who is right and who is wrong in this world? Are what your parents telling you right or wrong? Are they just under the influence of the government or by culture? Or is it just that majority of the people around them conduct such activities that they should follow to? Does one or two of their own children doing out of the norm considered wrong? The answer is yes and no. No one knows. Sometimes you just look at them and you think it's just not right that you consider them wrong. We don't know what their motives are, we don't know what we "accept" in our society. That makes us hard to decide, but because of norms, it makes it easier to categorize.
Aside from that, as I was saying, I was staring at the tree and noticing the branches. To me, the tree is like a family - it has its roots and the branches are like the generations. Among the trees I saw, most of them have branches going upwards, some of them to the sides. It occurred to me that the straight branches are those generations following the norm. To reach for more sunlight based on the principles of 'The survival of the fittest'. Then again, the ones branching sideways are the deviants. But haven't you noticed that all of them have the same purpose - they make food for the tree, which means they nourish the "family line"? Do deviants necessarily mean those who do not come out with the same outcome? Why must we leave the sideway branches out of the system?
I'm like the sideway branch. It is always been neglected and chopped off first when it gets in the way of the flats nearby. People usually neglect what these 'branches' do before they shun them away. Who's to know, the former may be doing more then the 'straight branches'. But nobody would be there to see them do it. No one can determine whether the 'sideway branch' is doing work unless you see it 'do work'. The only way is to check for chlorophyll. But why not trust that the 'sideway branch' is doing as much work as the 'straight branches'? Is it because it's the convenience of the norm that makes it easy to judge? It is so hard to believe yet it may be true.
Sometimes I don't understand why I have such a hard time trying to understand and go along with life in my body & mind. People always say I always think about myself but I don't understand why do they always say that when they never see what I always do. There's a saying that "action speaks louder than words" but if you are my friends and family, shouldn't they trust me at all in doing things, especially by myself? I don't recall asking favors from my family at all, I usually do things by myself. I can't see why my siblings can't do things by themselves too? It's not about complaining, rather, it's about self-responsibility. If you have something to do, then prioritize your work. Sometimes I really don't know what will I be doing next time - A loser or a responsible medical researcher?
One more thing I noticed about life is that dying is easy, way too easy. But the toughest challenge... is to live. Not to only live but to live happily no matter what setbacks there can be in this world. I want to be like that... to be smiling always, whether serious or not...
Taking & preparing for the toughest challenge
The Mixed Boy
While I was thinking things through after the arguement, I was looking out of my balcony and staring at the trees in front of me. I kept asking myself who is right and who is wrong in this world? Are what your parents telling you right or wrong? Are they just under the influence of the government or by culture? Or is it just that majority of the people around them conduct such activities that they should follow to? Does one or two of their own children doing out of the norm considered wrong? The answer is yes and no. No one knows. Sometimes you just look at them and you think it's just not right that you consider them wrong. We don't know what their motives are, we don't know what we "accept" in our society. That makes us hard to decide, but because of norms, it makes it easier to categorize.
Aside from that, as I was saying, I was staring at the tree and noticing the branches. To me, the tree is like a family - it has its roots and the branches are like the generations. Among the trees I saw, most of them have branches going upwards, some of them to the sides. It occurred to me that the straight branches are those generations following the norm. To reach for more sunlight based on the principles of 'The survival of the fittest'. Then again, the ones branching sideways are the deviants. But haven't you noticed that all of them have the same purpose - they make food for the tree, which means they nourish the "family line"? Do deviants necessarily mean those who do not come out with the same outcome? Why must we leave the sideway branches out of the system?
I'm like the sideway branch. It is always been neglected and chopped off first when it gets in the way of the flats nearby. People usually neglect what these 'branches' do before they shun them away. Who's to know, the former may be doing more then the 'straight branches'. But nobody would be there to see them do it. No one can determine whether the 'sideway branch' is doing work unless you see it 'do work'. The only way is to check for chlorophyll. But why not trust that the 'sideway branch' is doing as much work as the 'straight branches'? Is it because it's the convenience of the norm that makes it easy to judge? It is so hard to believe yet it may be true.
Sometimes I don't understand why I have such a hard time trying to understand and go along with life in my body & mind. People always say I always think about myself but I don't understand why do they always say that when they never see what I always do. There's a saying that "action speaks louder than words" but if you are my friends and family, shouldn't they trust me at all in doing things, especially by myself? I don't recall asking favors from my family at all, I usually do things by myself. I can't see why my siblings can't do things by themselves too? It's not about complaining, rather, it's about self-responsibility. If you have something to do, then prioritize your work. Sometimes I really don't know what will I be doing next time - A loser or a responsible medical researcher?
One more thing I noticed about life is that dying is easy, way too easy. But the toughest challenge... is to live. Not to only live but to live happily no matter what setbacks there can be in this world. I want to be like that... to be smiling always, whether serious or not...
Taking & preparing for the toughest challenge
The Mixed Boy
posted by -=The Mixed Boy=- at 12/25/2006 02:50:00 PM
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