SCAMP is over but I still feel more pain than happiness...
After a very long wait, SCAMP (Science CAMP) has arrived. Packed with potential fun and liveliness, I had four big bags with me and prepared to drown myself in fun. However, it happen that the camp isn't as fun as I expected it to be. The freshies were in abruptly strange habits and character. It saddens me more that whatever I talk about wasn't interesting enough for them. My lameness doesn't go far and my lack of knowledge provides a bigger barrier between the freshies and I. Everyone else seemed to enjoy themselves and showedso much more enthusiasm than ours. I tried to perk it up but in vain. My secret pal wasn't what I hoped for. Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike her, I just feel disappointed in the arrangement. If it's on random picking, I REALLY think I'm DAMN FUCKING SUAY. With 12 freshies and one out of twelve chances to get her is really bloody suay or just me. However, I still talk to her and gotten to know her more. She's a rather nice person to have chats with. It wasn't fun anymore because I can predict the accent and I can easily pinpoint who she is.
I thought the SP dinner would be a turning point but proved really not true. We were assigned to sit beside another pair whose's SP female partner is my SP's friend. -_-||| Then they were talking about their own stuff yak yak yak yak blah blah blah blah... Was so boring... So disappointing that I just looked out of the window and look at the beautiful sky turn dark. *Sigh*
You know what is the worst thing that can happen in SCAMP? It's to start liking someone and shows some liking in being around you, but whom you eventually found out she's attached. And the wisest thing is to back off. I wish I don't have to have such occasions. I was so dazed that night and so depressed that I just wanted to cry. But the freshies were all behind me I couldn't cry and continue to try being as if I'm enjoying myself.
I don't know why do I usually like girls who are already attached... It's not like I target these people from the start. The feelings always come some time after knowing her a little more. I also noticed it always seemed that I always have a liking for ACJCian girls. Why? I really find it hard to let go this painful feeling. When you are beginning to have a feeling that bad things are starting to change, it gives you another surprise. I can still remember what she asked me "Why can't you like a normal girl? What's wrong with a normal girl?" So what's so wrong about liking a normal guy like me? If girls think that a simple guy is sufficient, then what makes me so different from the rest? Then I remember what a friend told everyone today, "It relates more to the guys, if you feel that she's the one, you should work hard for it." But how is it possible when she's already taken? I'm just sad and yet there's so many other things to think...
Feel like hitting the wall
The Mixed Boy
I thought the SP dinner would be a turning point but proved really not true. We were assigned to sit beside another pair whose's SP female partner is my SP's friend. -_-||| Then they were talking about their own stuff yak yak yak yak blah blah blah blah... Was so boring... So disappointing that I just looked out of the window and look at the beautiful sky turn dark. *Sigh*
You know what is the worst thing that can happen in SCAMP? It's to start liking someone and shows some liking in being around you, but whom you eventually found out she's attached. And the wisest thing is to back off. I wish I don't have to have such occasions. I was so dazed that night and so depressed that I just wanted to cry. But the freshies were all behind me I couldn't cry and continue to try being as if I'm enjoying myself.
I don't know why do I usually like girls who are already attached... It's not like I target these people from the start. The feelings always come some time after knowing her a little more. I also noticed it always seemed that I always have a liking for ACJCian girls. Why? I really find it hard to let go this painful feeling. When you are beginning to have a feeling that bad things are starting to change, it gives you another surprise. I can still remember what she asked me "Why can't you like a normal girl? What's wrong with a normal girl?" So what's so wrong about liking a normal guy like me? If girls think that a simple guy is sufficient, then what makes me so different from the rest? Then I remember what a friend told everyone today, "It relates more to the guys, if you feel that she's the one, you should work hard for it." But how is it possible when she's already taken? I'm just sad and yet there's so many other things to think...
Feel like hitting the wall
The Mixed Boy
posted by -=The Mixed Boy=- at 6/30/2006 08:46:00 PM
1 Comments:
heyz..look on the bright side!! ya were quite fun ya noe?? not boring to us!! haha..n we enjoyed havin ya as a senior..though we wished we had tok to ya more..
~don cry becos it's over..smile cos it happened~ though the someone's attached..at least ya once tok to her n enjoyed the moment..n though it's hard to let go..remember ya frenz r always around..
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