The sign of fatigue and lost of faith in oneself...

It's yet another day with nothing much to do. I DO have some planning to do but it seems that it's getting out of hand and I've lost alot of control over it. Intern companies just don't salvage people like me, I just don't know why... I'm not lazy, I'm not stupid, I'm interested in my field, but why don't people notice me? Everyday I continue the same circle of thoughts, round and round. I kept thinking why is the world so strange and why people go back in their words (including myself sometimes). Why people complain over the smallest things but waiver away the extreme ones. Why do I always give in to people's request when I myself am an individual and have the right to stand up for myself. Why do people just merely say I'm just being kind and supportive but don't seem to treasure this friend of theirs. Why is everyone indulge in their own space that they have forgotten the ones that used to be in the circle itself?

I just keep on thinking them day by day, quiet as I can be. Looking dazed at the surroundings and the sky; running around getting my stuff for the coming dinner and dance somewhat in end of August or beginning of September. Along this period, I've seen many many sad things about our society that strangely, I feel upset only now. Some people can just be in the world of their own, hugging and holding hands at poles in the train, disallowing others to hang on to it. Some just lean on it as if they own the pole for themselves. Why do they have to choose at a time when there's so many people in the train. I know there's ALWAYS so many people in the train, the reason more that they SHOULDN'T be inconsiderate.

I can't see why must I keep asking people whether they want to accompany me to get stuff or go out for a cup of coffee when they themselves have things to do in the first place. I feel so dumb about them telling me to ask them out when most of the time, they reject me whenever I ask them. Then in the end, they say that I always ask at the wrong time or I'm being insociable. -_- Sick and tired of people saying I've little confidence when every little bit of it just gets nicked off by these people. ARHH!! I don't want to think about it anymore. I've cared lesser for my family problems, it should be lesser for things like these in school. Fatigue is the word, I'm tired. I'm TIRED of hearing excuses that are intangible, sick and tired of seeing myself being the receiving end of rejection. If there's still a sensible person out there that understands my feelings, I hope they'll cheer me up soon. I'll just take the days as they pass by, no more already, please....

Tired
The Mixed Boy