It's already the 10th week? I not sure since I've already lost count since the term break ended. But one thing's for sure - there will be many who will be leaving the campus, be it seniors or fellow batch friends. I lost the notion that I won't be seeing them again in the near future, though it is already hard to see them now. That's the idea, if it's already hard to see them now, it's even harder to see them next time. Lets not try bringing fate into the story shall we -.-... Anyway, there's actually so much to do, to make sure I get into honors, to think about how to spend my last few weeks with the graduating batch, to think whether should we have an group trip after the exams... The more I think about it, the more tired I become. Sometimes I just want to let go of everything and wish I were with my friends slacking at some cafe, sipping on some hot drinks and chatting our days away. Shopping or watching a movie, that's fine with me, all I need is just the company and the bonds that ensure our friendship lasts long.
But in reality, there's one important aspect that I missed out for some time - As long as a group of people do not sustain the need for a common goal, they separate inevitably. The same goes to someone you have affectionate for. As long as he/she losses interest in what both of you are doing, it's no longer existing. Socialization doesn't need a strong skill to sustain itself, it just requires care. If you care to try, it should probably give good results. Let me emphasize on this word "probably". Nothing in this world is a guaranteed answer. Some say that you should fight for something you truly believe in, but what if what you strongly fighting for always lands you up a failure?
Pessimism is really getting on my nerve, I'm not a fan of it. Having precautions or being prepared or planning your route is not a form or sign of pessimism. There's a very big misconception to this. I heard a saying that if you eat your meal and you tend to be a person who saves the best for last, you are a pessimist. I think that's bullshit. Firstly, haven't you heard of the story between the grasshopper and the hard working ants? So who's the pessimist now? Being clear with a goal makes you a better person, not a pessimist. The only losing end is the one who thinks the opposite and doesn't want to believe in this hard worker.
Looking back at my achievements, besides SOW 06, I think I didn't make much of an impression in my uni life. I wanted to be someone who people could look up to, someone who is above the average smart and someone who can play hard too. In the end, I grew more like a couch potato and didn't achieve my goal as a 2nd upper. Simply put, I'm at lost. Even if I wanted to be someone who could be looked up to, I wouldn't want to be placed at a spot where people doubt my advice. But what the heck, it doesn't matter anymore. A failure to lead myself is a failure to lead people and will be a failure to lead my family.
What can you make out of morale support? Do you think it is a psychological thing that stimulates ones mind to work better? Or do you think it is a spiritual thing that enhances the spirit of one to instill a heighten sense of hope? The what do you think is the best way to let one know that you really want to encourage that person? Encouragement.... What is it then? Is it do hard to give? Or is there a proper way to give it since it is somewhat been abused? Only appropriate amount of encouragement is needed to be genuine, the rest is up to you.
Why is it so hard to get someone to trust you, especially when you trust that people? Why is it so hard for me to achieve good recognition even when I'm doing things by the book? Why is it so strange that the short-cut, bad things we do is always better or give better results than we take things by the book? The next question is what is considered bad or good?
The Mixed Boy
