Thursday, August 31, 2006

SOW DVD 80% done... OH YEAH!!!

Alright...!!! SOW DVD's almost done.. It's 80% done now... Done all my videos. Though I still think they aren't the best of all videos but it's done. I've spent all my heart and soul doing it. With no regrets nows...
I've even done a menu for the DVD so that it would appear whenever you insert the dvd into the dvd rom. It'll be a simple one but I guess it's really cool. First time doing it too... What's more the printings are on the way. I guess pub comm can finish this project rather soon. The next thing to do is to arrange the photos. They are really a big headache. Too many photos too little space. Unless the freshmen are willing to foot like 16 dollars for a two dvd production. Hahaha... I wouldn't mind doing that... But it's whetehr they are willing to pay. Anyway, I would also be afraid of not being able to work in Mac and the unhappy faces of those who think the videos aren't "cool" enough... Oh well...
The first draft DVD will be sent to boss tomorrow for vetting. I hope it'll be ok. At least now I can focus more on my work then videoing.
Speaking of work, I've still tutorials to do and notes to read. I think I'm lagging behind now... I've yet to get a nice choker for D&D. I've gotten my shirt though, it's really a cool shirt. My very first v-cut shirt. And it had to be pink... Hahaha.. Dang...

Happy yet Worried
The Mixed Boy

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Job yet undone...

I can't believe that after I reviewed the previous year's finale video, I forced myself to re-do my finale video all over again. OMG... Can't believe that I actually still have some stuff to complete. Can't stand it when the quality of last year's was terribly better than mine... I can't bear to see the rest of the videos anymore. I'm so heart pained...
I'm going formal for D&D, can't seem to find a suitable, affordable retro suit anywhere. I literally had to throw away 100 odd dollars if I were to get retro items. WTH... I might as well get a good pair of trousers and a great shirt to accompany my coat. Oh well... Plans yet destroyed once again... *sigh*

The Mixed Boy

I don't have a project group...

Ahh... Don't have a project group. Wished I could do it alone...

The Mixed Boy

Yet another boring day... another boring life...

A run the previous day can really determine whether you'll wake up damn terrible or damn refreshed. In my case, it's damn terrible. It's been two days that I've woken up at 0530hrs for 8am classes. This is terrible. And I would reach school like 0645hrs with nothing much to do besides either using my laptop to surf aimlessly in the net or to read my lecture notes. Though I know I should be studying already but I just feel that I want to complete my projects before I do anything else.
Thinking of the things I placed in my blog yesterday. Makes me rather upset that things can go this array in my life. Not that I'm on the verge of giving up life but not that it's getting any better either. Everytime I wake up the stairs towards LT25, I always take a look at our "2nd home" and noticed that our banner is been destroyed. It pains me to see that we have already completed our project and we will not be doing the same thing again for who knows how long. In fact, from what I know, I don't think I would be able to do such things again. I'm getting terribly tired and sad that I can't even have the liberalty to do what I have passion in, just because of the word "studies".
And I thought that University life is SUPPOSE to be a fruitful one. "Lead your own life" people say, but what do my parents think? They don't agree to it doesn't mean I MUST disagree with them. Most of the time I feel that they are bias and do not see the two sides of the coin before throwing their comments. So what if they have experience in life. Do they make use of their experience to infer to the lifestyle and society now? Does the society now just spell out money and working life? I remember when friends kept telling me "It's now or never.." I guess I know what they mean by it now...
But life is either full of regrets... Its the choice of holding onto those regrets. That's why we have coinscience in us, it reminds us of the mistakes that we do so that we don't repeat them.
Saturday night is D&D, and our theme would be Hollywood. My comm intends to wear Retro that night... I think it's kinda cool but to get retro clothings would cost me quite a sum. I'm contemplating whether should I rent or buy them. If I were to buy them, I don't think I would be wearing it often; If I were to rent it, I would have to return it the next day which would be irritating and troublesome.
It's 0718hrs now, the first few students have arrived to the scene to book for places. It's a wonder what uni students would do to score well.. I'm getting sleepy, I just want to sleep here right now, lying down...

Tired and Irritated
The Mixed Boy

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Times have changed, time to move on...

Tutorials are starting soon and it's really time to head back to school to concentrate on my studies. I really have to pull up my CAP to stay active in Science Club activities. So I must work hard. My passion lies in leadship and teamwork, which my parents find it hard to understand. I hope I can clinch a good cap to sustain my stay in these activities and to support my brothers...
I must make a point not to stick too close to Jiahui. She feels uncomfortable when people read over her shoulder and when people gets too close to her. I don't want to come to a point where she ignores me just because of such actions.
I must make a point, too, not to play too much around Kailing. Though between us, we know that we're sister and brother, and i don't really care about what others think, but somehow, I should not deviate from the norm and give people wrong impression of our actions. I should try to tame down...
Modules are getting harder, so will scoring, I don't know whether it'll be a burden to continue being in a committee or otherwise. Bioinformatics is rather interesting but require lots of time and patience to find your data. Cell biology is something I need to read up on. Biostatistics, woo wee... That's a killer. It can make a confirmed answer seem so ambiguous... Hahaha... I must try out more questions. I think the module isn't that all bad. Yet there is still more to come I guess...
Sometimes it dawns to me that, why people move away from me or talk bad about me sometimes? Issit what I wear or what I say? I guess sometimes I must reflect on my actions and understand the actions of the people around me. Are they in they norms of others? Do others find it wierd when you do such things? Is it acceptable in the society? Things that you do other than the usual makes people wonder and scrutinize. So sometimes it's not about your looks or what you say, but what you do that affects people... Hmmm...
It's 0726hrs on 29th August 2006. Tutorial's going to start in another 34mins and I've not done any of them yet. Oh well... I hope I'll get to grasp the TA's explanation later when I go for the class. I also hope today's going to be a fine, fine day...

Tired and Pondering
The Mixed Boy

Sunday, August 27, 2006

The Bash Crash, crashed and burnt in a big fire

Yesterday's Bash was simply......Lousy... I hate to come to that but it was. The MC really sucks and the music for that day was terrible - House... No offence for those who likes House. I mean you should play songs that would hype up the atmosphere and that would either by mambo or RnB. The latter would be preferred. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a fan of these two but it's something that it would get people getting on...
The MC was seriously not professional at all. His comments were cold and stale. Hope he's not in Radio Pulze. The crowd, too, was not big enough. I'm sad for the club that we didn't get to attract more people into the event. However, I'm glad that some OGs come with banners to support their friends. That's what friends are for - to support.
I also gotten to notice some things. As years go by, more girls are attached. Out of 5 pageant girls I think 4 were attached. Haha... It doesn't take a genius to see or know that they were attached. With they boyfriends coming to support them as well, it's a wonder how we older guys get a chance at all. Hahaha... Hey, that's not true, even Jason gets to find a girl at his age. Maybe hope is still there after all...
I was jsut fiddling with my videos yesterday before the bash, then my mom watched a part of it. Suddenly, the first thing that came out of her mouth was, "so is there any girls interested in you/you interested in any girls?" It took me by surprise. Somehow, it kinda display how old I'm getting. Hahaha... I can't help it when girls aren't interested in me. I rather not ponder over it...
I thought of joining Radio Pulze but don't think I got the time to commit. I really hope I get my CAP up so that I can continue with my Science Club activities. I'm drifting away, I can feel it. I'm so worried about myself going up the ladder that sometimes I just fall without knowing.
I can't believe that someone actually msn me just to cancel the order for the dvd. It has made my day even worse now. The things you do in the service line can be very very traumatising but the passion to bring happiness to people slowly drowns the pain. It's not easy being in the service line. You have to go through all the shit to satisfy people, and you know how satisfied one can be - never.
Up till now, I noticed I've not found a friend that is very close to me. Someone who would go through hard times with me and enjoy my characters. It's like boss and vice boss, shakespear, vin and sk... No one from my sec or JC that are close to me are with me now. I was in the bash yesterday then from one strong comm can spilt into three different groups - the "shopping gang", the "Freshmen OG followers" and the "abandoned". Sadly, I wasn't in the first two. I was literally walking around the place alone to find people to talk to. Everyone had their own groups. And what's up with me wearing contacts? What does it have to do with vain? So me wearing contacts mean vain? What the hell? So I shouldn't dress up and look nice is that it? Or issit that no matter what I do doesn't seem appealing to people huh? If that's so, thanks I guess I don't need such comments from you. Now I know why I kept on wearing specs - no one appreciated my looks no matter what I do. Same goes to my work.

Feeling alone and not-appreciated
The Mixed Boy

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Week 2 and yet no proper organisation...

It's already ending of week 2, but I've not even into the mood to do proper planning. I'm going to get screwed soon if I don't plan. I need to read up on my lecture notes. So far I only understand my lecturers but not memorised anything. I'm lacking behind but my work isn't done. I'm down to my last two clips... I'm racing against time... The clock is ticking... Somehow, I'm satisfied with my videoing skills. Maybe there's still some hope left... Muslim gave me an idea on what to do. Hope it works... Maybe I can do a short clip on the bash this Saturday... Hmmm... That would be a good idea... But I need to go around taking photos. Arrrhhh.. We'll see, we'll see... I still have lots of work to do...
I really miss SOW. I just want to do what we did during the hols when the freshmen went home - slacking in prep room and doing our own stuff. Though I should have been going around and taking videos but I really like those times... My organising days are over, I can't believe my parents stop me from doing what I like and what I'm partly good at. Sometimes I really hate my restrictions, I can't lead because I don't have a chance to; when I have a chance, the chance was a lousy one... However, being an SCMC does take up alot of time and requires lots of consideration. Uni level isn't just organise and do what you are suppose to do. You have to do with your heart, enjoy what you are doing and do without expecting anything in return. As an SCMC, you are providing a service to the people, not only in your faculty but throughout the campus. Service is something you oblige to do when you sign those papers. Thus, no one would dare say that the service area is a happy-go-lucky streak. However, you get to learn alot more than what a mere student would learn. There is always a case of pros and cons...
I want to be someone big next time... I want to make new drugs(medicine) to cure people... I want to help improve the medicine that is distributed in the world now. As much as it pains to see myself far from this fetch, I would want to try my luck and strive for the best, not for myself but for my future family as well.
As the years go, I start to feel the tension on my legs whenever I go for jogs. I can feel that I cannot do as much vigorous exercises that I had done so long ago. I lost alot during the years of training, sweat, determination as well as life... I need that drive again... I want to continue jogging even 10 - 15 years down the road, being able to jog as well as a young man. I want to prepared to get exposed to harsh environments by training my body for the worst. I want to be above average, to do better than an average even with substantial studies. I want to be successful in both work and play. I.E. I can play hard as well as work hard or even mix both when necessary. But these wouldn't be possible if I don't plan soon.....

Life is always a race...

Tired and Struggling for Dinner
The Mixed Boy

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Week 1 died... Things aren't as good as you expected...

It's already been one week after SOW. I've been spending about 1 month thinking of how to get my videos done. I can't do proper compressions or produce quicktime format videos. I don't understand why... I got like 2 weeks left yet nothing much achieved. I'm growing increasingly worried about the production as I wanted it to be really well done. At least something that people would want to watch it instead of placing in their cupboards to collect dust. Memories aren't for sale, but our hardwork should be paid off with at least some charitable givings. Don't support me at least support science club, don't support science club at least support science fac. That's the very most I ask form an individual. Science fac to me is somewhere I was born liking it, and part of my life now. Don't take it/break it just by thinking it's stupid doing such things or taking the easy way out. I wish people see it my way.
I have this friend, he has some trouble deciding in his life. It's something to do with relationships. He somehow knows this girl and starts to like her. He also gotten to notice she's from dance. I.e. she's a dancer. However, she is a hardcore dancer and do almost anything to dance. She does show signs that she's interested in getting to know this guy. What's more, there is this guy in her dance group that is very talented and works closely with her, and my friend feels very inferior to the talented guy. The dilemma comes in when he doesn't know what to do - to just continue down the road and try to find someone else that would probably take very long; continue to like her but face the consequence of being placed 2nd in life to her dance. How is he going to figure out this dilemma? Would you want someone to like you for 5 mins and take the rest of the week to do dance? Could anyone be confident that this girl would like my friend and not like the talented guy? There's no common interest between my friend and her, would things go smoothly? Sometimes life isn't fair...

Tired and Confused
The Mixed Boy

Monday, August 14, 2006

I wonder why..

Sometimes I wonder why I am me... Sometimes I don't even know whether I'm scaring people away... Sometimes it becomes so delirious that I don't even know what's the difference between haress and approach anymore. Somehow they look almost the same.
One thing I don't really like in life is that people fail to listen to me. That makes my voice soften even more. So soft that you can hardly hear me shout. There are many times that I intended to do something and I did say it out loud that I intend to do that, but people just minded their own business and left me behind. It seems that my ideas are never good enough to even ponder on. This makes me so quiet, I barely want to talk at all. Someday, I might even forget how to talk at all.
I even think I scare someone away. I don't know how to place this in words but I do feel upset that things don't go my way.

Tired
The Mixed Boy

Sunday, August 13, 2006

A successful orientation yet ironic lost...

Somehow, I think we weren't lousy or unprofessional. I've seen my seniors and they one of the wonderful batches I've ever seen. Take Alvin for example, he is enthusiastic and always willing to take taht extra mile to give us that little extra support. And Xiao Kai who never fails to be supportive as well. Yet the freshmen seemed so unappreciative of the things we set for them. Did perfection or percaution spoil the fun for them? Or are we not "attractive" enough to get their attention? Seniors play great roles in OGs, especially when controlling them. They are called OGLs not only to pass down messages from the comm members but also a form of a leader to the small group. If the OGL goes hay wire, they freshmen will follow too. If they isolate themselves in their ogs, then they will not learn the true meaning of friendship and what Science Faculty spirit is all about. Teaching them about Rag, too, deepens the spirit even more. It showers the freshmen on the pain and sweat used/planted into Rag. The hours spent and fatigue gained can bring tears to all of us when we do not fulfill our hopes.
My title explains the ironic scenario of us being satisfied with our projects (SOW, FLAG & RAG) yet the lack of spirit in the air as well as our lovely chancellors shield. Though we would be fighting even harder next year, we would not feel the same for the next one year. After all that stay overs in school for SOW preparation and RAG, my attachment/feeling for science has increased dramatically. With such a lovely comm and friends for seniors, I feel more of home in school than my original home. Even sleeping on the floor with my sleeping bag doesn't feel that all bad. I would never forget that feeling as it will remain in my heart for years to come...
My last project is to produce the dvd... I need to get started on that project as I wouldn't like the freshmen to keep on waiting. Unfortunately, there's not much ideas in my head right now.. I'm kind of put off by lots of things and kind of influences my feel for carrying on the project. However, I would still fulfill my promise to SOW and will put my last full attention and pride in doing this DVD. It will be a great one...
Somehow, I believe this year's not going to be quite a good one but still lets keep our spirits high. You wouldn't know, things change, so do people...

Tired, Blur and Zombiefied
The Mixed Boy