Term Break is Finished...

Can't believe that term break is over, such a short stint. So disappointed that I've not done anything and not been anywhere with anyone... All the arrangements I've made all wasted because others can't take the time off even for a few hours. But it's ok... Kinda guessed that this would happen. I didn't get to study much also... I just don't know where to start and what to read... All look so messy to me and I'm still a little disoriented... Still in a holiday mood... Oh well...

Just cut my hair, feeling good about it because I'm starting to have problems with my hair. After that I visited Sim Lim Square alone, quite boring but at least I've gotten myself a few stuff. Gotten a 160 gig hard drive for my sister, a new mouse, 1gig ram for my laptop, 2 gig thumb drive because my thumb drive was lost, and ink for my printer. By God, I just spent 243 dollars in a blink of an eye... I'm starting to dislike Fuwell, the employees there are sooooo arrogant and don't seem interested in helping you out. I think I should approach another shop next time... I saw a few good deals for SKY's 2.5" HD, at least about 100 plus. But it's a 160gig... it's quite a good deal... As compared to my 160gig 3.5" HD that worth 143dollars, I think the 2.5" is way good deal... I didn't managed to find good sleeves for Vaness, knowing that she would like some cool designs. They only sell good quality ones but with little designs... Hmmm... Besides all these, I guess I can't upgrade my laptop's processing speed at all since there's no way in upgrading it...

I also didn't manage to get Vaness for dinner, she had to meet up with an old friend who she didn't see for ages... Guess I was too late but in either way, I still think she should have that meeting with her friend. So I went to the market near my house to grab some KFC. I swear to you, I think I'll never go there again. The employees there were mainly Secondary School students, judging by their way of speech and actions. I like their enthusiasm and communication BUT they show very little respect and interest in serving their customers. Their service is so slow that the line just pile up; they are so nonchalant about their actions that they don't really care if they spurt out vulgar languages or what-so-ever. And the best thing is that they don't seem to care about the increasing length of the queue. The floor manager just continue walking in and out without encouraging his members to quicken their pace -.- Can't believe it. With me as the 2nd customer, I had to wait more than 15min to be served, dumb right? I had a large appetite before that, but after seeing how they work, it turned into a small one... Never going back there again...

At home, chatted with Vanes, in fact I've chatted with both Vanes-es that I know, one had a bad mood, one was damn sleepy. Don't know whether is it me again having wrong timings. I do noticed that there are more Christians and Catholics around because among the people I've conversed, most of them are Christians. It's not a bad thing, nothing of the sort, it's just a noticeable thing. After both of them went offline, Tammy suddenly messaged me. Apparently, she went to Harsh's birthday party. She told me that Harsh wore three elegant dresses that night and she looked very nice. Hmmm... During the party, they drank some alcohol so Tammy can't sleep. I don't know why she can't sleep, she just feels awake after drinking but can't concentrate hard enough to study. So she can't do anything at that moment other than stone. But it was about 2 plus in the morning and I felt quite tired already, so I said good night and went to sleep... Another day gone...

I wish we had some cereals around, I feel like crunching on them...

Disappointed
The Mixed Boy

Happy Mid-autmn festival

Happy Mid-autmn festival to my SOW comm 06 and friends, I will never forget last year we all dressed up in our JC/secondary school uniforms, went to Fong Seng to eat supper, played sparkle and talked about so many things back in Science Clubroom. Guess it's time we all moved on from here... But to me, it's still right down here *pointing to heart*. I miss you Geraldine and Suyi who are in Australia now...

Jo

TERM BREAK!!! Then why am I here studying?

Finally, the term break, the sun, the sand, and the..... homework? WTH.. Why am I stuck behind studying for the modules when I'm suppose to be out playing man... I can't even concentrate... The drama "Great Teacher Onizuka" is super inspirational and fun... Been watching it on crunchyroll.com... It's so much more enlightening watching the students in the show smile and laugh than the people around me mugging till the ends of the world... -.-

Well, got to be happy for what I am and what I have. Some people prefer that their path is inevitable and prioritized. I won't blame them anymore... I've got no right to do so... "You should be you" That's what Onizuka said.. Sometimes he makes teaching so much fun but in real fact it's quite stressful. But what's more fruitful than seeing your students be your friends and receiving the "thanks" they give after every commendable thing teachers do. Teachers are still human, there will be times that they don't know what we ask from them... That's when students take advantage of the situation and turn tables. An understanding class(including teacher) is a fun class... I remember the days when I had so much fun with all the teachers, talking to them, helping them, talking about my classmates problems and how to help them. And I thought being caring would be a good virtue, when comes to Uni, everyones a critic.

I still remember in a newspaper there used to be a comic strip that showed quited an ugly woman(as a comic character) going through a beauty parlor and coming out as a beauty. Then it stated above the comic strip, "Beauty is only skin deep". I think trust is also only skin deep, when you don't look trustable, people just naturally try to avoid you. I won't deny that I don't trust a few people in my life, most of the time I don't even trust my parents because I already know their pattern. But if I don't trust or gain the trust of the people around me, I don't feel angry, I just feel sad. It's either I lose a friend or I don't gain any. It's totally out of my agenda in school... I wanted to have a new life in Uni, to find friends I can chill out with, who trusts me and who wants to talk to me because they want to. But it's just so hard to get them, everyone had their own friends to start with from the previous institutes. But Uni is still so much fun to explore than trying to salvage for friends... Being alone is just a phase in life we all must go through once in a while...

You know what? I think I'm just finding excuses, I'm weak to start off... I may be wild and have many dumb ideas but dumb ideas don't get any attention from the intellectuals you see in school. All they do is say "mug" or "study" or "mug". O.O Exactly, they only say these few stuff... Well at least towards me, then with their own clique, they start yapping on some topic that I can't participate in. What a bummer... that's what you can expect from a person like me... Haha... Doesn't matter...

Shu Ying did say that she'll be studying in the library with me, but I bet she either forgets for have too much to do in lab, as usual. I shouldn't place too much hope on things which are intangible... As one would say, "With great expectations, the greater the disappointment" or "The bigger they are, the harder they fall". However, I would like her to take things slowly and prioritize her work properly, it's easy to say but hard to do. Whatever it is, we're still human, when there's a need to rest, then we should rest. Even machines can break down, not to mention erythrocytes(matured red blood cells), they only last about 120 days.

Vanessa reminds me of Tomoko in GTO, silly/ditz but with good intentions. Probably that's why I like stroking her hair. Unlike Vanessa herself, she also reminds me of very good junior I once had who looked up on me whenever she's got problem with school. Van in other words, have still much to be discovered.

Yanlin is still as muggish ever since she stepped into Uni. It's not that I'm refraining her from studying but she's almost quite ultimate. I also wish she chooses the correct time to study whenever I approach her to talk. I don't intend to read between the lines of her actions and tone of conversation but if there's always something to be said, then say it. I'm not the brightest or most handsome guy in the university, but at least I'm someone who wants to know you more...

Jans called out my name today, she was in front of me before she called me. I merely smiled and say hi before walking pass her. You may wonder, aren't I the one who wanted to talk to her? Yes I do, but I after the quarrel with her choice of friendship and priorities, you think it's still an appropriate time to talk to her? I'm not the one who backed out on friends, I don't need her to call out my name, any Tom, Dick and Harry can do that, I need her to willingly talk to me...

I've not been talking to Mus as frequently as we used to. I don't really know what happened up till now. His actions and tone changed drastically, he's not as enthusiastic as he used to be also. Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions but that's I know from my side. I hope he takes things easy and study hard for his last year on Uni... Not everything is a bed of roses, we lose battles but never lose the war...

I'm not progressive in my studies, first it was the thought of money that makes me sick, now it's the thought of studying like mad that makes me mad. I'm being more of a text book than being a wise man. I'm just merely reading out of books and memorizing them, it's becoming more of a headache for me than a breeze. I still like what I'm doing, Life Science, it's something we are brunching out to. Potent drugs(pharmacological terms means medicine or chemicals that have interactions with the biological systems) are needed for vaccines and cures. There's not much time, there is a need for more intellectuals. Even so, it makes me sadder that people like me are left behind, no matter how much I've desired to help the people fight against the diseases. If doctors can have fun while being in hospitals, talking to patients and nurses and colleagues, why can't a lab researcher who is under Life Science do the same thing? Why can't people loosen up even during work? I just really can't understand...

It's been some time since I've blogged. Blogging is like a secrecy to liking someone, when you think of someone, the first thing you want to do is think of what can you do to get her attention. Similar to blogging, when you see something, you also would want to think of what to type in. It's periodical that you 'see her' but when things between you and 'her' don't go right, then the 'relationship' ends...

"You don't have to be a friend to have guts, but you need to have guts to be a friend"
The Mixed Boy

Dull as usual

If you are expecting that I have a hell of a time in school, no, that's not the case. I find this sem really different because I find it very very hard to concentrate. Probably because of my condition. But I"m still trying my best. Modules are becoming harder because it tests on the basis of Biology once again, and that means I've to read up much more just to keep up with the rest. Microbiology isn't my forte, but I'm taking it right now, never knew that even some dumb facts that we learned from lecture ALSO had to be referenced. Stupid, but that stupid thing cost me a B for my damn report. Can't believe this. Not only that, I've got 3 tests next week and a report to complete by next Friday. Even before the recess week comes the lecturers still have to put so much shit on me just to squeeze every little bit of stamina. So dumb...

Ever since D&D's done, it's been me, myself and me everyday. I don't feel welcomed in clubroom as what it felt during the two years. Things change, they had to, but even though some people say that we ought to “饮水思源“, I don't think many actually really take that into consideration. Some people just deliberately close themselves for no reason what-so-ever, saying about shifting priorities. No matter how busy we are, at least we can't forget about the friends we used to have. So what if one needs to shift priorities, other parties need to too, it's mutual respect, simple courtesy that one at least talk things through about their behaviour. Why must others inform them of what they are doing for them to blame the former of their stupid/dumb assumptions. Think before you say about others, why would anybody, who is a friend, talk about this dumb behaviour of yours? Of course there's a sense of concern, simple as that. Why bother to be friends and then kick them off your list? I rather not even have such a friend in the beginning. Arh, such stupid reasoning.

Went out with WeiHeng and the D&D comm for a celebration yesterday. I didn't follow them for supper because of this FUCKING tests coming up as well as the stupid report. I'm not even in the comm, I just merely helped out a friend edit the video. I just felt out of place then. I already felt out of place in many places. Didn't really have much feel to go on a frenzy. Oh well, I just hope that the S/U options will come out soon, and also that my previously S/U-ed modules get a B or B+ so that I can retract them. I need to S/U this nation-building. I rather not take anymore arts modules. Eeyer...

Managed to get to level 21 in Rappelz, a strider. Eugene introduced to me, well it's like another silkroad online just that it's slightly more depth. Kinda disrupted me from studying pharmaco throughout the day. I even slept so much in the afternoon, that too, took much of my time to study the module. Tomorrow's Understanding the Universe, I need to complete the lecture notes before night so that I can do a little bit of the pharmaco tutorial for Monday. Oh no.. I'm really stressed this week, I need to confirm whether my S/U can be retracted or not.

Why is it that I always want to like someone but she always happen to be taken or interested in someone else that I know or just simply not getting my hint? Haiz... So tired...

Tired, droopy eyes
The Mixed Boy

Why?

Why must a change in priorities lead to shunning oneself from friends? Why must we be governed by the numbers of our CAP score? Why things don't fit at all no matter how much you think? Why must I lose friend by friend each time I grow a moment older? Why must everyone think that being a group of friends means isolating themselves to stupidity? Is it so hard to be with a friend?

The Mixed Boy